


Just guys being dudes

by oikawatooru



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akira likes sending nudes to random people, And I will update the tags as I go, Ann and Ryuji are bros, Disaster Gays, Gay thoughts can't catch Ryuji, M/M, Masturbation, Ok yes they can, There will be an eventual relationship, accidental nudes, alcohol reference, lots of texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2018-12-24 07:42:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12008169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oikawatooru/pseuds/oikawatooru
Summary: Ryuji considers himself to be a pretty straight dude until his bro sends some accidental nudes and he is forced to reevaluate his friendship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! This is a stupid idea that I started writing one night and got carried away with. I haven't completed the entire thing yet but it will probably be quite a short fic, maybe 3-5 chapters long. I hope you enjoy it!! Thanks for reading!!♡♡♡

_PING_

Ryuji heard the message notification pop up and he lazily reached out to grab his phone, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from the explosive action scene playing on the tv. He swiped the screen, bringing up the chatroom and grinned once he saw 3 unread messages from Akira. It's rare for his bro to text so late (morgana must be elsewhere tonight, he reckons) and Ryuji enjoys their 3am conversations more than any other.

The blonde pressed open the chat icon next to his name and was greeted by two messages accompanied by a video.

 

 **Akira:** alright you've convinced me

 **Akira:** here I am enjoying the pictures you sent. I expect you to reply with a video of your own

 

At first Ryuji was confused. He didn’t remember sending his bro any pictures, and the thumbnail of the video is dark so there's no way to tell what's going on. He tried to think back to their previous conversations but draws a blank, and finally just thinks fuck it; maybe the messages are a reference to something in the video? Or maybe it's a wrong number text, either way there's no harm in watching it.

At least, that's what he thought before he pressed play and caught sight of a dick.

Startled, he cursed, almost dropping his phone and wondered why the _hell_ akira would be sending him a video of someone's dick.

The camera angle suddenly shifts before he has time to press pause and Ryuji then finds himself staring at a body shot of a slim guy, shirt hitched up to reveal a little of his toned stomach, thick cock poking out from the black underwear bunched around his thighs. One hand wrapped around the shaft, stroking himself, hips arching a little to the rhythm of almost breathless pants.

Ryuji refused to believe this was exactly who he thought it was but when he recognised black curls and round glasses as the dudes head dipped low enough to break anonymity for a second, he couldn't deny it. No - it couldn't be -

But it was. It was Akira.

Closing the app as fast as he could and tossing his phone onto the oak coffee table nearby was the only action the blonde could think of. He desperately tried to shut that image out of his head, the one of his friend _jacking off_ but there are just some things you can't unsee. It definitely had to be an accident, there's no way Akira would send Ryuji something like that. Then again, Akira didn't seem exactly like the type to video himself naked and send it to other people either.  

 _PING_. Another message pulled him from his thoughts. Ryuji could feel his cheeks burning, his palms tingling and he prayed that the notification would be from anyone but Akira. When he picked up his phone, however, it seemed as though the gods weren't on his side today. Not that they ever seemed to be on his side.

 

 **Akira:** it’s been 15 minutes. I hope the silence means you liked the video

 **Akira:** OH SHIT

 **Akira:** OH SHIT OH SHIT RYUJI I'M SORRY

 **Akira:** wrong person. please don't watch the video ok

 **Akira:** I'm begging you please don't watch it

 **Ryuji:** too late dude

 **Akira:** oh no

 **Ryuji:** wtf dude next time check who ur sending to i almost had a heart attack

 **Akira:** I know I'm an idiot

 **Akira:** sorry you had to see that. I really hope this doesn't make things awkward between us

 **Ryuji:** nah it won't it just shocked me that's all. nothing I ain't seen before

 **Ryuji:** wait that makes me sound like a pervert

 **Ryuji:** that’s obviously your territory

 **Akira:** you cut me real deep. but you make a fair point

 **Ryuji:** anyway it's fine don't worry man. I'm not sending you a video back though ya know

 **Akira:** haha I figured. what a shame that is

 **Akira:** once again i’m sorry but thank you for being understanding

 **Ryuji:** it’s all cool bro

 

Ryuji closed the app once more and took a breath. He meant what he said; that kind of mistake could happen to anyone and it shouldn't change their friendship just because of a nude video. He knows a lot of guys would make it weird and he doesn't want to be that type of person. The beauty of being a delinquent is that you could get away from all that macho ‘no homo’ bullshit.

There's only one small (well, average) problem though. His dick has perked up with more than a little interest for the video.

He cursed once more and shifted, a little uncomfortable, before dragging his eyes back to the tv screen. Fingers gripped tightly around the remote control, he nudged the tv up to an obscenely loud volume; one that would sure fire drive his mom crazy if she wasn’t away for the weekend on that spa break he gifted her.

He settled down, ignoring the downright _dangerous_ thoughts that led to his bro Akira, and hoped to immerse himself in the danger and excitement of the movie playing in order to keep his mind from what he just witnessed.

 

***

 

Ryuji managed about 20 minutes of sanity, until the movie protag meets his love interest and the inevitable sex scene starts. He tries to focus, he really does, but tired eyes keep glancing at the locked phone and all he can think about is the burning arousal he feels when he thinks of the way Akira stroked himself, the look of glazed arousal simmering in his features.

All it takes a moment of weakness, a lapse in his rational thought process, and he's grabbing his phone to click open the video once more.

It's not like he's never jacked it to a guy before. He’s not into dudes but hey, he can appreciate the glory of the male form and _sometimes_ when the search for a specific porn video goes wrong and curiosity gets the better of you then it’s fine to look at some bro action. This is _exactly_ the same, right? It's just like regular old porn, he doesn't even have to _think_ about who the video is from. It’s not _gay_ or _weird_ , he tries to rationalize. This is just easier than trying to find another video more suited to his tastes right now.

Ok so maybe it’s a little bit weird and gay.

The state of arousal clouds his thoughts, a classic case of 'thinking with his dick' and he reassures himself that this is probably fine. Nobody ever has to know.

Ryuji pressed play and immediately starts to jerk himself, effectively silencing any thoughts of rationality. He grunts and copies the movements as they happen onscreen, the private video spurring on twisted fantasies he didn’t know he had, fingers focused solely on that slender figure and rising pleasure from his own hand. He eyes Akira’s lips, sharp teeth biting down, and watches as those hands work magic, the sight almost unravelling him. He doesn’t even _think_ of who that body belongs to, too centred on reaching his peak. That is, until he hears Akira’s soft, drawn-out moans as he reaches orgasm and it sends him right over the edge.

 

***

 

It's approximately 5 minutes later, after a quick bathroom trip to clean himself up, as Ryuji is on his way to the cluttered kitchen that the shame sets in.

 _Oh no. Why did he think that was a good idea?._ He paused in front of the refrigerator, the cool air and the cold feel of the soda can in his hand sobering him. The usual shame that follows masturbation lingers in his chest, amplified a hundred times. If god wasn’t mad at him already for being a delinquent then he sure is now. Fuck. He doesn’t know how he’ll ever be able to look Akira in the face again.

In a rare moment of weakness he closed the fridge door and shuffles back to living room, grabbing his phone from its place on the couch. He accessed the chat, bringing up Ann’s contact knowing she’ll still be awake at this hour, deciding he needs reassurance that he’s not the most fucked up person in the world. She wouldn’t judge him; she’s heard many of his problems and insecurities before.  

 

 **Ryuji:** dude are you awake

 **Ryuji:**?

 **Ann:** no

 **Ryuji:** very funny

 **Ann:** seriously I'm typing this whilst I'm asleep

 **Ryuji:** shut up I know you're probably just watching trash tv like usual

 **Ann:** that’s a fair assumption

 **Ryuji:** anyway i need to talk to you

 **Ann:** sure go ahead I'm listening

 **Ryuji:** I effed up

 **Ann:** what did you do?? do I need to call Akira and come over

 **Ryuji:** NO

 **Ryuji:** don’t call him

 **Ryuji:** please

 **Ann:** ok seriously what happened????????

 **Ryuji:** he accidentally sent me a video of himself

 **Ann:** what’s so bad about that

 **Ryuji:** it was a video of him … ya know

 **Ann:** ??

 **Ryuji:** ya know .. beating his meat, honking his hog, rubbing the one eyed snake

 **Ann:** WTF WHO VIDEOS THEMSELVES AND SENDS IT TO PEOPLE

 **Ryuji:** ikr it's weird

 **Ryuji:** he obviously meant to send it to someone else. and he apologised for it  

 **Ryuji:** but

 **Ryuji:** I might have

 **Ryuji:** ya know

 **Ann:** stop saying ya know, use ur words ryuji

 **Ryuji:** shutup

 **Ryuji:** i might have jacked off to it

 **Ann:** WAIT WHAT

 **Ann:** that's gay ryuji

 **Ryuji:** SHUT UP I’M AWARE OF THAT

 **Ryuji:** seriously I feel bad. it was an effed up thing to do right

 **Ann:** probably

 **Ryuji:** why do I make so many bad choices. He’s my best friend. I don’t wanna lose him y’know

 **Ryuji:** and now i don’t think i can look at him ever again without wanting to die from shame

 **Ann:** akira is pretty cute though so i don’t blame you

 **Ann:** cheer up ryuji, you're not the first person in the world to do that. just don't make it awkward and things will be fine. It was just a one off right? forgive yourself it really isn’t that bad. I bet akira would even be flattered

 **Ann:** anyway he doesn’t have to find out so just try and remove it from your mind. and I'll take your dirty secret to the grave

 **Ryuji:** thanks bro that makes me feel a lil better

 **Ann:** glad to be of service! I can call if u need more reassurance

 **Ryuji:** nah you helped a lot. I’ll leave you to your terrible tv shows. g’night

 **Ann:** night babe

 

Ryuji logged out of the chat room and threw an arm over his face, sighing a little. Maybe Ann was right, maybe that moment of weakness wasn’t so bad and he can just go on as normal and forget all about it. Ryuji groaned, sinking into the beat up couch and taking a swig of his soda. Or maybe this inadvertently starts a chain of events in which he ruins a friendship because he’s unable to look at his bro anymore without being reminded of his own shame.

Damn. He was so _fucked_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuji struggles with his gay feelings as the gang all study together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! Let's pretend it didn't take me a year to finish this fic ok? Life got in the way and I'm also a stupid procrastinating idiot. Sorry. Also, I edited the first chapter a little bit because for some reason I wrote this in two different tenses????? Hopefully I've caught all the mistakes but if I haven't let me know. 
> 
> I never mentioned in the first chapter notes but all characters depicted are over 18 and I kind of pictured them the same but at university or something. Hence the sex/alcohol/studying references. Anyway feel free to yell at me in the comments for not updating this for a year. Hope you're all doing well and you enjoy this!

A week had passed since  _ the incident.  _ Ryuji swore to himself that he wouldn't think about it, that he would just repress the memory like he did with all his other embarrassing memories. He felt guilty as hell and that guilt was tripled by the presence of a dream he’d just woken up from. In this dream Akira had sent him hundreds of videos, each one filthier than the last, until eventually Ryuji exploded. Physically freaking exploded. He wasn’t entirely sure of the meaning behind his messed up unconscious thoughts. Maybe he didn’t really want to know. 

Sighing, he got up from the bed and quickly dressed, grabbing clean clothes from haphazard piles on the floor. He combed through his bedhead with his fingers and spends a few minutes hunting for a missing shoe under the mess that clutters his room. The sound of pots clattering can be heard from the kitchen and after slipping on his shoes and grabbing his grey backpack from the desk, he made his way over there and gave a curt goodbye to his mom, telling her that he’ll be home later. She nodded and with that he’s out the door, climbing his bike and making his way to cafe Leblanc. 

Ryuji made iit to Leblanc a little later than the time the gang agreed. Checking his phone shows he has 3 missed messages; two from Ann asking where he is and one from Futaba threatening to eat his share of the snacks if he doesn’t turn up soon.The last message is punctuated with a series of emojis, half of them holding no meaning to him. One day he needs to have a word with her about her excessive emoji use; it gets hard to decipher her messages sometimes. 

Ryuji locked up his bike and made his way into the quaint coffee place. Sojiro waved at him from behind the unusually busy counter and as Ryuji shouts out a short “hello” he briefly thinks that at least if he dated Akira he would finally have a decent father figure in his life. Ok that thought was mostly a joke. He didn’t know if he wanted to date Akira but the thought was approximately less scary than it would of been a few weeks ago. Man, he had a lot of shit to figure out. But that was for later, when he was in the privacy of his home and when he didn’t have an important meeting with his friends. 

Ann practically cheered as soon as he pushed through the solid door to the attic of Leblanc. 

“I win the bet!! I told you guys he would be exactly 34 minutes late!” Ryuji glared at Ann as she got up from her seat to greet him. Although, he noticed that he wasn’t the only person in the room who was glaring at her; Haru also didn’t seem impressed at her win. 

“You spend too much time with Ryuji, honestly,” she piped up, as she threw a crumpled up note at across the table where Ann had resumed sitting. 

Ann picked it up with a smile and blew a pretend kiss at Ryuji. “Thanks for tomorrow’s lunch, Haru! And that’s because Ryuji is my favourite.”

Ryuji only elbowed her as he took his seat next in between her and Yusuke. In the regular universe, the one where his best friend hadn’t sent him a highly explicit video, Ryuji would have sat close to Akira, thighs touching, as they laughed between themselves and generally annoyed the rest of the group because they weren’t studying like they were supposed to be. He was glad to see that Mishima had taken up his regular spot instead; there was no way _ in hell  _ he could look Akira in the eye, or god forbid even the arm, right now without popping a hugely inappropriate boner. Probably. 

“Ryuji is everyone’s favourite, Ann,” Akira piped up. “He’s mine at least.” He winked and Ryuji tried so hard to cool down the blush he could feel forming on his cheeks. How could he act so  _ cool  _ about the whole situation? Oh right, that’s probably because he hadn’t spent the whole weekend jacking off to his friend that’s why. 

Rummaging through his bag to find his study supplies (and borrowing Ann’s when he realised in his haste he had forgotten them), Ryuji silently prayed to every god he could remember that he would get through this day in one piece.

 

***

 

It was about 2 and a half hours later that Ryuji had felt like every single God had given up on him.

The gang had decided to take a break from studying - for once Ryuji had  _ actually _ been studying -  and a few of the others had ventured out to replenish the diminishing snack supply and to grab drinks. Akira had been called downstairs to help Sojiro and that left just Ryuji, Ann and Futaba, who was currently curled up in the corner playing a game on her phone. Or hacking a government database. Honestly this was Futaba; who knew what she was doing. 

Ryuji wriggled his phone free from his jeans pocket and checked his messages. There was one from his mother, which he quickly typed back a response to, and one from Ann.

 

**Ann** : how you doin buddy

**Ann** : i’ve never seen you so studious 

**Ryuji** : why are you texting me you’re literally sat next to me

**Ann** : futaba is here 

**Ann** : she doesn’t need to know about The Situation

**Ryuji** : wtf she has headphones on

**Ann** : whatever i’m just being cautious 

**Ann** : now how are you 

**Ryuji** : gay

**Ann** : SAME

**Ryuji** : shut up you’re always gay

**Ryuji** : anyway back to my gay feelings

**Ryuji** : i can’t look at him

**Ryuji** : i’ve been thinking about him a lot

**Ryuji** : and i realised that he’s always been on mind even before this whole mess

**Ann** : AWW RYUJI HAS A CRUSH

**Ryuji** : SHUT UP

**Ann** : YOU’RE BLUSHING I CAN SEE IT

**Ryuji** : pls kill me 

 

“So how are we going to get these gays together?” A voice directly behind Ryuji made him jump. Out of the corner of his eye he could see even Ann looked startled. 

“Fuckin’ hell, Futaba! You almost gave me a heart attack!” He whipped round to face her, phone clutched tightly in his hand. “Wait - what do you mean ‘these gays’? What are you talking about?” 

Futaba rolled her eyes. “I’m talking about you and Akira! He sent you his nudes and now you’re in emotional turmoil because you realised that you fancy the pants off him! So what’s the plan? Are you going to ask him out?”

“Like hell I am! And I thought you’d promised to stop hacking our messages!” Futaba only shrugged and adjusted the headphones sitting around her neck. Ryuji sighed. “Ok fine, whatever. Just don’t tell Akira. I can’t deal with that right now.”

“Don’t tell me what?” Ok so God had most definitely given up on Ryuji, that was good to know. There Akira stood, leaning lazily against the doorframe, soft black curls covering half his expression in the way that reminded Ryuji of those MySpace emo boys from the early 2000s, but also in a way that made his heart flutter. Damn, his emotions were a mess. If you’d have told him 6 months ago that he would be attracted to a guy who barely dropped his emo phase like everyone else had, he would have told you to politely fuck off. Although, probably without the politeness. So he just would have told you to fuck off. 

“Seriously, what are you not telling me?” Ryuji’s brain short circuited as he tried to think of a response to Akira’s repeated question. Luckily Ann jumped in there first. Thank the Lord for her quick reflexes. 

“Oh! We were just talking about your birthday present!” 

“My birthday isn't for another 3 months.” Akira eyed them suspiciously before shrugging his shoulders. “Whatever, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for your lies.” He smiled and shrugged. “I think I hear the others.” 

Akira left the room as quick as he’d entered; presumably to help the others carry whatever snacks they brought back. Ryuji breathed a sigh and gave Ann a look that pleaded help. She just gave him a sympathetic smile and patted his shoulder.   
  


***

 

Another 2 hours passed until the gang grew restless and only Ryuji and Makoto remained studying. Yusuke and Futaba were deep in a conversation about the mysteries of conspiracy theories, particularly one about whether the illuminati existed or not. Haru and Mishima had already left an hour ago and Ann was playing some rhythm game on her phone. Who knew what Akira was doing; Ryuji refused to glance over and take note.

Things continued like that for a little while longer until Makoto announced she had to get back home and everyone readily agreed. Futaba and Yusuke left pretty quickly, still deep in conversation, whilst Ryuji followed behind Ann and Makoto. 

Just as Ryuji was about to leave Leblanc, his backpack slung over his shoulder and one hand poised upon the doorknob, Akira called his name. 

“Ryuji, can I talk to you please?”

Ryuji nodded and adjusted his backpack. He watched as Ann and Makoto, the last two of the group remaining, waved goodbye and shuffled out of the door. He tried to give some kind of help signal to Ann, willing that she would hang back and rescue him but all she did was give him a thumbs up and continue her conversation with Makoto as she followed her out of the cafe.  _ Traitor _ . 

“You can stop looking so scared, I’m not going to bite.” Ryuji looked to where Akira was stood, poised against Leblanc’s smooth wooden counter, arms crossed, seemingly as relaxed as always. Ryuji envied that about his friend; his demeanor never changed even in the face of a dire situation, his attitude effortlessly cool and unbothered, as if nothing phased him.

“I don’t look scared dude shut up.” Ryuji cleared his throat and tried to sound more convincing; more  _ normal _ . “So what did you wanna talk about?”

“Look, I’m just going to cut to the chase. You’ve been acting strange with me all day. Refusing to sit next to me once Mishima left, not joking with me like usual. Plus you’ve barely answered my texts all week  _ and _ I saw you actually studying today. You wrote a least 5 pages of notes, it was mind blowing. Whilst I’m proud of your commitment to your studies I am also very concerned because I know that’s not you at all.” Akira sighed softly and pushed his glasses firmly up the bridge of his nose. “Is this because of that video? I thought you were cool with it.” It’s a statement, not a question, and Ryuji can see Akira’s cool exterior cracking a little. His eyes are downcast and he looks somewhat anxious; part of Ryuji feels a thrill at seeing that facade breaking down but an even bigger part of him just feels embarrassed and shitty. 

“Dude I..” Ryuji trailed off and looked around the room for something, anything to help him, but the room only answers his silent prayers with a cold silence. It’s empty save for the two of them, everything cleaned and neatly lined up for the next working day. Ryuji desperately tried to think of something to say, a way to resolve this situation, but every thought that comes up is worse than the last. What can he do? Admit his feelings? Make up a lame excuse? None of these options seem like they have a good outcome. 

“Look, I- I’m sorry bro, I really don’t know what to say.”  _ Perfect _ .  _ Nailed it _ . “You can’t just send someone shit like that and not expect a reaction. We’ve broken the bro code - never look at another bro’s penis unless it’s for reassurance purposes! I don’t even think there’s a clause written in the bro constitution for sending a dick video, not even a dick pic but a dick  _ video _ , to a fellow bro but i’m pretty certain it’s against the code!” Ryuji let his backpack slump to the ground and leaned back against one of the tables, mirroring Akira’s stance. Akira sort of looked like he was trying not to laugh. Except he was doing a terrible job of hiding his amusement.

“I’m sorry Ryuji, but a bro constitution? I wasn’t aware that such a thing existed. Why is breaking the bro code such a bad thing?”

Ryuji shrugged and shook his head. “Ok I guess that was a stupid comment. I just - I don’t know how I’m supposed to react, man.” Ryuji shuffled his feet on the spot, looking down and speaking a little softer than before. “Look, who were you even sending those videos too? It’s been driving me crazy.” Wait, where had that comment come from? He certainly hadn’t meant to confess that out loud. 

“Who was I sending it to? Oh, I guess you deserve to know, you did tell me that you hate it when friends keep weird secrets.” That was certainly not why Ryuji wanted to know but he was somewhat glad Akira had interpreted it that way. 

“I meant to send it to Mishima.”

“Mishima?!” Ryuji couldn’t hide the surprise and distaste in his voice. “Seriously?! What the fuck, are you guys dating or something?”  

“No no it’s nothing like that!” Akira held up his hands in protest. “It’s just a casual relationship. No strings attached. Are you ok, is this a problem?” Ryuji pushed Akira’s hand out of the way when he goes to grab his shoulder, and picked his backpack up from off the floor. There was a tight pain in his chest and he couldn’t breathe and all he could think about is Mishima,  _ fucking _ Mishima. 

  
“I don’t - I can’t - I can’t do this right now. I need to leave.” He does just that, pushing past Akira’s pleas for him to stop. He didn’t care if he looks weak or strange or stupid, he just needed to go home and  _ think  _ and possibly cry or ease the pain or  _ something _ . So that’s what he did. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stupid gays get together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo again! There was supposed to be another chapter after this that included porn but honestly every time I try to write something nsfw my brain gives up. If anyone gets bored and wants to write the porn for me please get in touch. Otherwise I'll just label this as complete for now and if I ever decide to write something nsfw I'll add it on. Sorry this fic is such a mess lol.

**Ryuji** : mishima

**Ryuji** : he meant to send that video to fucking mishima

**Ryuji** : they are like 

**Ryuji** : friends with benefits or smth

**Ryuji** : damn mishima tho i always hated that guy

**Ann** : you’re just being dramatic 

**Ryuji** : no i’m not i honestly hate him

**Ann** : don’t be a dickhead, mishima is a really sweet guy and you know it

**Ryuji** : damn i thought you’d back me up who’s gotten your knickers in a twist

**Ann** : ugh

**Ann** : yusuke has been bugging me to pose nude for him again

**Ann** : i still can’t tell if he’s secretly a perv masquerading as a dork or if he genuinely is just a dorky guy

**Ann** : he says my nude form will inspire a generation of great painters

**Ann** : he’s asked me so many times he’s starting to sound convincing

**Ryuji** : sounds like typical yusuke

**Ryuji** : he genuinely is just a dorky guy and i’m pretty sure he’s asexual or something

**Ryuji** : also you’re so beautiful of course your nude form will inspire a generation of great painters babe

**Ann:** you’re sweet thanks babe  <3

**Ann** : that makes sense though, about yusuke being ace

**Ann** : i asked him what he thought about akira and mishima’s sexual relationship and he said something cryptic about how Akira supposedly has a crush on someone else but he’s not allowed to say who

**Ryuji** : ??

**Ryuji:** how many guys does akira want damn what a hoe

**Ann** : idk, now he’s prattling on about famous paintings of known gay lovers

**Ann** : so anyway back to your problem

**Ann** : are you ok??

**Ryuji** : yeah

**Ryuji** : i mean it sorta feels like someone stabbed me in the chest and i have a strong urge to run away and start a new life but other than that i’m fine

**Ann** : you’ll get through this buddy

**Ann** : they aren’t even dating properly so you still have a chance

**Ann** : and at least you know akira is gay. although the way he stares at attractive men on the street or leaves his gay porn searches open on his phone would probably suggest that

**Ryuji** : lmao true

**Ryuji** : thanks bro you’re a real help 

 

With a pained sigh Ryuji leaned back against the headboard of his bed and tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about  _ anything _ . Everything hurt so much and he didn't even know  _ why _ . His whole world had changed in just a few short weeks. Surely you couldn't become this messed up over a crush you  _ just _ realised you had? It was stupid, Ryuji felt so utterly stupid and he wondered how the hell he was going to fix his broken friendship now. Goddamn. 

 

***

 

Ryuji must've eventually fallen asleep because he woke blurry eyed and disorientated, struggling to adjust to the harsh bright light he'd never turned off. He peeled himself from the covers, finding the room stifling and suffocating, chest still taught with pain, and made his way over to the window to open it. It was dark out, a single flickering street lamp illuminating the road, and he figured he should check his phone for missed messages since it's so late now. 

Fishing his phone from the bedcovers is no easy task but he eventually located the device and lit up the screen to find 7 missed calls from Akira (he's definitely not calling him back), 1 text from his mum stating that she's spending the night at a friend's, and several from Ann and Makoto asking if he's ok. He wished Makoto didn't know about the situation but it's clear that Ann must've mentioned it to her, probably for advice or something. Not that Makoto was great with love advice, especially considering it took her 6 attempts to ask Ann to be her girlfriend last year. 

Ryuji decided then that it was a good time for a shower, the hot water and lemon scented shower gel soothing him a little and clearing his mind. It was as he was stepping out of his shower that the doorbell rang. He figured it would be Ann checking he wasn't dead since he never bothered to text her back or possibly Futaba bugging him to play video games like she often did at this time of night, so he threw on a towel to cover himself and answered the door. 

It was neither of those people. It was Akira.

“Oh for fucks sake. Can I please not be fucked over for once in my life. Is that too much to ask?” 

Akira didn't react to his outburst, only stood there awkwardly holding a shopping bag on one arm, looking nervous and guilty. Ryuji kind of hated not seeing his usual confident smile and relaxed demeanour. 

“Can I come in? It's cold out here.” He said it with an imitation of his normal tone, obvious anxiety slipping through the cracks. 

“Yeah. Ok.” Ryuji wasn't sure what he should say so he just shut the door and left him standing there in the hallway in favour of heading to his room to get dressed. There was no way in  _ hell  _ he was having this difficult conversation wearing only a towel. He still had his pride and dignity (sort of) and he didn’t want to lose it just yet.

When he wandered back into the kitchen, after spending ten minutes stalling because he really  _ really _ didn't want to talk about his feelings, he found Akira sat in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of some alcoholic drink he'd brought with him. 

“Whiskey?” Akira gestured to him and handed over an already filled glass, taking a sip of his own. “The store was closed so I borrowed it from Sojiro’s secret stash. I needed some liquid courage.” 

He wasn't looking Ryuji in the eye, barely looking at him at all, and Ryuji wasn't sure if he was grateful for that or dissspointed. Sighing, he sat himself across from Akira and took a sip from his glass. 

“Why did you come here dude? I’m sorry I walked out on you earlier. I just - I wanted to be alone.”

“I know. I'm sorry for barging in on you at this time.” Akira downed the rest of his drink and poured another. “I couldn’t sleep, too busy thinking about what I had done to hurt you. I wasn't even sure  _ why _ you left and I thought maybe asking you would make it worse so I texted Ann and asked her if she knew what was wrong. At first she wouldn't explain but eventually she told me everything. That you liked my video. That you have feelings for me.” 

Wow. Ok. So now Ann was definitely being bumped off his best friends list. Traitor. 

It was then that Akira looked directly at Ryuji, expression hardened and serious. 

“I lied, ok?. I lied about Mishima and I. Well, technically we did hook up once during a drunken night out but it was a big mistake. We were terrible together. But that's not the point!” Akira’s hands wringed together, fingers rubbing the skin the same way he messed with his gloves during Phantom Thief missions. It was a nervous and distracting habit. 

“The point is … well I lied. I didn't mean to send it to Mishima. I didn't mean to send it to anyone except the one person who received it. It wasn't an accident, Ryuji. I wanted to entice you, to seduce you, but in hindsight it was a pretty stupid plan and I should've just asked you on a date or something like a normal person. I'm a complete idiot but I  _ like _ you, Ryuji. There, I said it.” And with that he downed another drink. 

Ryuji sat there for a moment, shocked beyond his wildest imagination, wondering what the hell he should say now. He couldn't think of anything clever so he settled on an insult. 

“You're supposed to be the smart one bro but wow that plan was incredibly stupid. Stupider than anything even Morgana has said.” He leaned back, unsure of how the fuck he felt anymore, his emotions rupturing in his chest. 

“So you and Mishima really aren't a thing?” 

Akira shook his head. 

“And you like me. And I like you.” 

Akira nodded this time. 

“What happens now then?” Ryuji asked, tentatively. “Because I am totally lost for thoughts right now.” 

He could see the hint of a smile on Akira’s expression as his friend leaned across the worn wooden table, taking Ryuji’s hand in his own. “I guess … do you want to date?” 

Ryuji’s heart was beating so fucking fast and he couldn't stop from smiling as he felt Akira’s smooth skin against his own. “Hell yeah bro. I've been thinking about you nonstop for the past month.”

Akira laughed, warm and low, relief relaxing the stiffness in his posture. “I've been thinking about you for over a year. I think I win.” And with that he strained further over the table and kissed Ryuji, slow and soft. 

 

***

  
  
**Ryuji:** ANN ITS AN EMERGENCY

**Ryuji:** BITCH GET UP IM DYING

**Ann:** OH MY GOD WHAT’S HAPPENING DO I NEED TO CALL AN AMBULANCE 

**Ann:** IM GETTING DRESSED I’LL BE THERE IN 5 MINUTES 

**Ryuji:** no no don't actually come i’m fine

**Ryuji:** i’m dying emotionally. I have too many emotions for a boy I'm only equipped to deal with anger and indifference 

**Ann:** ???????? what happened 

**Ryuji:** akira came by 

**Ryuji:** he's in the bathroom rn so I gotta type quick 

**Ann:** omg wtf what happened

**Ryuji:** he lied about mishima. apparently they only fucked once and it was bad 

**Ann:** DONT TELL ME HE SENT THAT VIDEO KNOWINGLY TO YOU

**Ryuji:** yeah he did

**Ryuji:** apparently he's had a crush on me for a while 

**Ann:** yes!!!!!!!!!!!! im so happy for you!!!!!! 

**Ryuji:** he asked me if I want to date 

**Ann:** !!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO GREAT RYUJI 

**Ann:** ah I just realised why yusuke was bring cryptic earlier. he said akira had a crush on someone but he wouldn't tell me who but I guess we solved that mystery 

**Ryuji:** wow never expected yusuke to be anyone's first choice to tell their secrets to

**Ryuji:** actually I would trust you the most but you told my secret to akira anyway so maybe I'll tell yusuke from this day forward 

**Ann:** ok I'm sorry but it worked out great for you so you're welcome 

**Ryuji:** fine I'll forgive you this time but if you tell people my secrets again i’ll be so mad

**Ann:** noted! also makoto said congratulations and it’s about time that you guys got together

**Ryuji:** wow she’s one to talk it literally took her a billion attempts to get with you

**Ryuji** : but tell her i said thanks

**Ann:** lol will do

**Ryuji:** gotta go he’s back from the bathroom 

**Ann:** bye!! don't forget to use lube and protection if you guys fuck:)

**Ryuji:** fuck you 

**Ann:** :) :) :)

 

“So, you wanna fuck then?” 

Ryuji whipped his head around to find Akira standing relaxed beside him, peering at the messages, a hint of a smirk in his expression. How was he able to sneak up behind him so silently?

“What?” He asked, laughing at Ryuji’s aghast and almost embarrassed expression. “I'm only taking Ann’s suggestion. I'm down if you are.” 

Ryuji tried to appear confident but he still couldn't meet Akira’s gaze. 

“Ok I'm down. No homo though, yeah?”


End file.
